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SpongeBob: Hello, fellow revelers! Would you like a Christmas treat?.

Stupid hunk of junk-tonium! My gift to Bikini Bottom.

Plankton: You know what? Knock yourself out.

SpongeBob: Well … I think everyone should taste your amazing fruitcake!.

Plankton: Grrr! Have some more! Have a whole loaf! Have a baker's dozen! Well?.

Taste Bud: Oh, boy, here comes some more! Yaaaay!.

How could I possibly be angry when my taste buds are swimming in Christmas cheer? He must have gotten a piece without Jerktonium! Here. I feel just how this cake tastes! Absolutely delicious!

Plankton: Maybe just a little bit jerky?.

Plankton: So, how do you feel, kinda cranky?.

SpongeBob: Ooh! Ooh! Hot! Hot! Hot! Wow! This is great!.

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Plankton: Hot from the oven and full in lovin'!.

Plankton: Sure thing, fruitcake! Here you go!.

SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton! What've you got there? Hey! Is that a fruitcake dispenser? You don't suppose I could have a piece, do ya?.

Plankton isn't so bad after all! And then I'll finally get what I really want for Christmas, the Krabby Patty secret formula! And now for the main ingredient, Jerktonium! Okay, Jerktonium, do your stuff! It's complete! Ha ha! The Jerkmaker 9000 will make doling out tainted fruitcake a breeze! Now, who's gonna be my first victim? The fruitcake! And each and every slice will be laced with Jerktonium! Once ingested, no one can help becoming the biggest, creepiest, meanest jerk ever! Then Santa will realize that Sheldon J. Behold! Jerktonium! I'll give everyone in Bikini Bottom a present of the most innocent of all holiday goodies.

Plankton: I'm way ahead of you, Karen! There is one element in the known universe that can turn even the nicest sap into the biggest jerk they can be! And I, Plankton have discovered it.Karen: Maybe you'd get a real present from Santa if you weren't the biggest jerk in Bikini Bottom.So every Christmas morning, I get a stocking full of coal!♪ Every naughty deed is written in his scroll. Plankton: ♪Oh, Santa, Santa, Santa has his eye on me.Krabs: Exactly! The more you give, the more I get. SpongeBob: Don't you mean the season of giving?.Krabs: Why, Christmas is me favorite time of the year! After all, 'tis the season of gettin'! SpongeBob: ♪Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me.♪ Hi, Mr.I'll mix a dash of Christmas cheer with a candy cane and deconstructed alchemy.♪ Sandy: ♪Oh, Christmas, oh, Christmas its sweet mystery.Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! Fa la la la la la la la la lee! And who is that I see? Underneath her Christmas tree?♪ And we'll have Christmas all year long!♪ Hey, a cookie! Patrick: ♪I will trap Santa in my box, locked up like Fort Knox and make him stop the clocks.Patrick: It's a trap! A trap for Santa!.He sees everything I do, with his left eye on me and his right eye on you!♪ Ooh, what's that? ♪Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little eyes on me. Squidward: Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms.SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward! What are you doing today?.'cause Santa, Santa, Santa has his jolly little.

Santa has his jolly little eyes on me! It keeps me warm and filled with glee to know Santa has his eyes on me. The snow is falling and the cold wind blows. SpongeBob: ♪Oh, it's drawing very near. My favorite time of the year.Patchy: While we wait for the truck to stop spinning, let's see what SpongeBob is up to this Christmas.Potty: Look out! There's a fork in the road!.Patchy: Yeah, well, we ain't turnin' till we see some fields.Left on Santa Claus Drive.♪ Scurvy brain. Potty: No, Patchy, the directions to the North Pole are in the song, "There Goes Santa Claus." ♪There goes Santa Claus.Everyone knows that the directions to the North Pole are in the lyrics of the song "Jingle Bells." ♪Dashing through the snow, in a.

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Potty: Do you even know how to get to the North Pole?.

Well, this year, I wanted to be absolutely sure Santa got me letter, so I gave Mr.

Patchy: Merry Christmas, kids! I bet you're wondering why ol' Patchy has this mail truck.

This article is a transcript of the SpongeBob SquarePants episode " It's a SpongeBob Christmas!" from season 8, which aired on December 6, 2012.

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